Let's look again at my attempt at giving up dieting, self incrimination and just generally worrying about shit that should come naturally and with a grateful heart, for Lent. Our society gets so hung up on body image that we've created a multi billion dollar industry all aimed at giving us that "magic bullet" that will take us to our ideal body weight. Only to be disappointed because genetics dealt us different cards and we don't look like the model in the magazine or the personal trainer on TV or the movie star on the screen.
I think the only way I am going to find self acceptance will be to eat healthy, whole, non processed food, (when hungry) in moderate amounts and move more. Then, and this is the important part, when my body finds it's natural weight based on my metabolism, accept it.
I'll pause now while you spit out your coffee, laugh or otherwise discuss the "yeah right"ness of that last paragraph.
As improbable as this may seem, this is exactly what I am working toward this Lenten season. Thus far, it's going pretty dang good. I'm paying close attention to when and if I'm hungry and I'm trying to eat well and be thankful and present when I eat. I'm moving as much as possible, walking the dogs 3.5 miles this weekend (if the weather would cooperate I'd be walking even more) and practicing yoga every day. Overall I feel good.
I'm still struggling with the crap my inner bitch tries to tell me every morning when I'm looking for something to wear, but I've gotten pretty good at telling her to shut the fuck up. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I will say this, when it works...I feel powerful. I feel blessed. I feel centered. These are very good things.
I also have to stop myself from obsessing about every morsel that passes my lips. It's so ingrained in my psyche to scrutinize everything I eat and then feel either deprived because I'm not satisfied or guilty because I am, that eating is not really a joyful thing for me. And I believe it should be! I think that we should celebrate our blessings and be grateful and present when we eat. There are so many who are hungry that to be blessed with the abundance of too much food is a miracle. I'm committed to retraining my thoughts and approaching food from a different place. One of gratitude and love.
Like everything, it's a process. Also like everything it's progress...not perfection.
Bless your food today and be present and grateful while it is consumed - in that way you will nourish your soul as well as your body. What better way to give glory to God? And isn't that what Lent is about?
Whatever you do, make it an offering to me -- the food you eat, the sacrifices you make, the help you give, even your suffering.